Sunday, February 1, 2009

Friends and Dating

I usually don't really have that much interesting on my mind to talk about, especially on a blog, so I have a question that will hopefully be of benefit to many of us.

OK, what's the right amount of friend advice for a relationships? When is it that you (the friend) go to far, or not far enough?

I know this question may be different for the ladies than the guys (that's what I'm looking for), but advice as a best friend can take you from the friend to foe with one slip up. I personally haven't had this happen to me because many of us guys stick to "Bros before...", but I have had friends that have had this happen to them.

Now, being seventeen, some of my friends (19-21) are engaged, how do you say "uh dude, you might want to think about this one, she/he's crazy haha" without messing anything up? That's where I go wrong, cause that's exactly how I say it haha. I guess a positive thing about being so straight forward like that, is people only ask me if they really want my opinion haha. None of that little white lie stuff. The problem, however, with being so straight forward, is some people can't take it like that. So again, my question, how do you go about putting in your ten cents in a way they get your message without throwing out your friendship with your advice.

OK, here's my opinion for the question. First, get friends that you can talk to and be able to say whatever. If a friendship is thrown out because of this new guy/girl, then it must not have been a very good friendship. Secondly, give only the necessary comments, but if the dating friend asks you for your opinion, by all means give him/her your speech. If you really feel like you need to talk to your friend about their date ASAP, tell them that you need to talk, and give it to em then, but only use that one when you really need to.
Ya, that's pretty much it, although I am a guy and have limited emotion. I'm really looking for a response from the ladies, cause it's so interesting what you guys have to deal with in comparison.


  1. Hmmm, that is a very good question. I have always been advised to keep my mouth shut unless the friend asks for my advice. Don't offer your opinion out of the blue. With that said, I have dated someone that all my friends and family hated and I really wish they had said something so I wouldn't have wasted so much time. It's touchy, though, because even a good friend can be blinded by a relationship and you voicing your opinion could damage the friendship even if your friend finally comes to the conclusion that you are right. There really isn't any great answer, but I guess I would stick with the sharing your opinion when asked for it.

  2. I pretty much agree that most of the time, people don't really want to hear your opinion unless they ask for it, and sometimes when they do ask for it they really just want you to agree with them. In a friendship, as in any relationship, the motivating factor should always be the best interest of your friend. Sometimes it takes a little time and thought to figure out what that is and how to communicate it in the best way for your friend. It's alot easier to succeed, tho, if you truly have their best interest at heart.